Snow Days

2012-01-27T08:09:00.001-05:00

We don’t get a lot of snow around these parts, but whenever we do, Olin gets really excited. As it turns out, asking if he would like to go outside for a walk is not nearly as effective as asking if he would like to go see the ice. One elicits a matter-of-fact “No,” – the other is met with a sqeal of delight and a race upstairs to find a coat. This may all be novelty, as we have had exactly two snowfalls this year, neither of which lasted very long. Our most recent snowfall had a melt / freeze stage that left soft grass underneath a thin, floating layer of ice. Tromping through this was a delight, as every step ruptured the pane of ice, leaving indistinct, crackling footprints behind. I can’t say Olin was the only one to enjoy the sensation.

Am I allowed to wish for more snow?

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2012-01-26T09:58:00.001-05:00

From the back of my textbook:

Perhaps it is just my modern bias that anything following ‘NEW’ must be three words or less, but I confess I felt a little snarky when I saw this. I guess, though, it will be pretty exciting to be a master of GARCH models, and be able to discuss parameter instability and structural breaks, INCLUDING tests for endogenous breaks.

Stand back, world.

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2012-01-24T22:13:00.001-05:00

If you aren’t listening to RadioLab and This American Life, you should be.

Conformist without a Cause

2012-01-24T12:00:00.021-05:00

I have a real problem with authority.

My problem is not, however, the same as that of Mr. Dean is his iconic film. I have no desire to go about rebelling for the sake of rebellion. In fact, I would much prefer to identify myself as a conformist rather than a rebel. That is, I believe that in general our whole is greater than the sum of our parts, and we achieve much more by working together than we ever could separately.

This is, of course, a debatable point. There are exceptions. America is, after all, the land of rugged individualism. However, while I very much value individual responsibility and initiative, I confess I am a social animal.

While I, along with the rest of the world, see plenty of things wrong with "the establishment", I wish to focus on building something new rather than simply destroying what is wrong. After all, destruction is the easy part. I reverence the opportunity to reverse entropy – to say to the Universe “sure, you may want to fling things far and wide, break them down into solitary, lonely elements, but I say no. I will combine, grow, and create.”

Of course, the obvious question is: how do we combine, grow, and create? While I believe that lots of amazing things happen without any clear authority figure emerging (invisible hand!), I also believe that if a complex structure is to accomplish some specific purpose (rather than simply “being efficient”, which is the only goal of the invisible hand), it will almost always require some form of authority – a central force who, ideally (and this is the key point), has the essential quality of knowing what to do.

This is the key point, and it is also the key problem, as what to do is usually far from obvious. Examples of hideously malformed attempts to accomplish a purpose are thick upon the ground.

The real problem for me is not in accepting that the outcomes are imperfect – I know, after all, that I am mixed up in this. Rather, the difficulty comes from accepting that in life, I will always be following the most right authorities, not the right one. I want perfection, not of achievement, but of direction.

My yearning for a perfect direction comes, perhaps, from a childhood spent listening to talks denouncing the practice of “picking and choosing” from religious doctrines and texts. As it turns out, the Bible is contradictory, and pretty much every church that lays claim to a real authority has been known to change positions that had seemed immutable. While I agree with many of the position changes, and with some portions of the Bible, I am left frustrated – I would actually like to give perfect devotion to a perfect authority, but instead I am (horror of horrors!) left to “pick and choose” the doctrines that I feel devoted to, and am terrifyingly free to assume the ones I dislike are open to debate. The vast expanse of my possible misjudgment is staggering.

I attempt to comfort myself with the knowledge that perfection is an intimidating thing. Even more so, because the examples of people claiming perfection and demanding devotion are more often tragic and disturbing than inspiring.

I guess, at the end, my fear stems from the knowledge that if I make the wrong decision, it is I who have made it. Personal responsibility is scary as well as empowering. Authority is enticing not only because of its ability to organize, but also for the implication that we will be allowed to suspend our own judgment - to believe in a cause unquestioningly, and shuffle the responsibility of knowing "what to do" onto someone else. For good or ill, I must also be my own authority.

TeamHedengren

Snow Days

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Conformist without a Cause